Thursday, December 15, 2011

RIP Fruity Pebbles

About a week ago, during the night, my barn barned with one of my horses inside. After posting some questions on Yahoo Answers seeking advice about horse shelter, I just couldn't leave them all in the cold every night so I have been putting one in the barn a night to warm up next to a space heater. No, I didn't have the heater near any straw, it was on the concrete slab in the corner. Pebbles must have dropped some straw near it or turned it over. I really need to figure out who made that heater so I can complain about their faulty product. Now I'm stuck with two horses with no shelter for them other than a tent pavilion thing I found at Wal-Mart. I could put one of them in the garage probably but I really hate the thick ice that covers my whole truck in the mornings. Not sure what to do at this point. Hopefully this isn't the end of the horse emporium journey. It probably would be if I wasn't so stubborn. My mom told me before she died that she wanted me to follow my dream of having a horse emporium and I mean to see it through. Wish me luck, blogosphere.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Welcome Back Floyd!

Thanks Floyd, its good to be back. I apologize to all the loyal readers for me being gone so long. Its been a rough fall. First I had to up and move to Montana then online rook went to pay only then my mom died. Bummer after bummer after bummer. Trying to keep my head up though. Before she died, my mom told me to follow my dream of having an actual successful horse ranch/emporium for handicapped children and elderly.

I've been so busy trying to acquire horses and animals that I haven't been able to do much else. Not having anything but a small shed on my property, I had to make due by making it into a small barn with enough room (barely) for one horse. I've also acquired three new horses, Sweet Bun, Benedict, and Fruity Pebbles. In the past week though, Sweet Bun was either stolen or ran away. Its okay though, trying to keep my head high. I've got plenty to be thankful for, three healthy horses, beautiful land, and since my mom passed, my ex-wife and I have been on speaking terms again. 2012, Floyd is ready for you.

Below is a pic of my barn, the first of many phases at the "Eleanor Brewer Memorial Handicapped Horse Emporium."

Monday, August 8, 2011

Hiking with Norm

I'm back!! The trip was amazing, wild, scary, and scenic all wrapped into one. Rick and I had one wild trip that we'll never forget. The only downside was I never found the pretty lady from the post below. There were plenty of ladies on the trail but not my type, smelly and old. We also had some bad luck with our map reading skills. Rick thought he had it all figured out but in the end it threw a kink in our entire trip.

We left town on the 21st of July drove south a few days. Since Rick had a month off from work we took our time driving. I won't bore you with the driving details but do know Rick got locked in that restroom at the Pilot in Staunton, VA. I will never forget that, HAHA! That fool had the whole truckstop thinking he was an idiot. That was the highlight of the drive. Then three days later after we left Maine we made it to the Nantahala Outdoor Center just outside Bryson City, North Carolina. The parking lot there is were we began our hike of the Appalachian Trail.

The hike was amazing. We were putting in a lot of miles each day. The trail was hot and beautiful. At nights the temperatures would dip lower and feel great. Luckily along the trail they have shelters that we could stay in each night. That made it easier on us since we wouldn't have to carry a tent the entire trip. That choice ended up hurting us later on.

If you're asking yourself what we ate while we hiked well don't worry, we had great food all along the trail. Most nights we whipped up some amazing noodles that came with little packs of seasoning. They were so easy and super delicious. Can't remember what they were called but Rick picked up a bunch for us. He never would let me pay him back for them. They must have cost him a forture. That Rick is one heck of a guy to have hiking with you. Along with those fantastic noodles we had energy bars, oatmeal, powder milk, rice, crackers, tuna, and lots of water. I'm tired of drinking water after this trip. A few places on the trip we came across wild blueberrys and blackberries. They were the sweetest I've ever tasted. My goodness they were good. There were a few other berries that I didn't know the names of that weren't as flavorful.

Our first sign of map reading trouble came about half way through the hike. We stayed at a shelter named Double Spring Gap. It was a nice place and wasn't that easy to get to because it was on the uphill side of Clingman's Dome. That Clingmans Dome area is pretty cool and super crowded. I tried talking to this one family but they were rude and wouldn't get anywhere near me. Anyways, we woke up the next morning and started hiking the wrong way, which we didn't realize at the time. Around lunch time we noticed that we hadn't seen any white blazes. For those fools that don't know what white blazes are they are the markers that mark the AT (Appalachian Trail). After lunch we checked the map and realized we walked half a day in the wrong direction. We turned around and spent another night at Double Spring Gap to wake up and hike to the highest of our entire trip.

We made it through Clingman's Dome, Newfound Gap, and Charlie's Bunion perfectly fine. It wasn't until we stayed the night at Tricorner Knob that we ran into trouble again. We woke next morning to being our day in the wrong direction again! This time we walked for a few days in the wrong direction. After the white blazes disappeared we couldn't figure out which we we came so we ended up making two circles to get back to the original AT trail. Spending two nights without a tent or shelter were two of the worst nights ever. I'm thankful that I've watched Man vs Wild on tv a few times or I probably would have died. Rick and I had our two nights under the stars. He said 3 bugs crawled up his nose those two nights. I didn't tell him but I flicked one bug off of me and it must have landed on him. Ooops, haha.

Saw a live bear hiking in the woods while we were hiking on the trail.

We spent another night at Tricorner Knob and continued our trip on towards Max Patch where we left the rental car. Luckily we had no more map issues and compeleted our trip 4 days later than we had originally planned. We were so thankful to get out alive that we found a Cracker Barrel along the way and pigged out like a bunch of wild animals. Those chicken 'n dumplins are amazing!! Great job on the service, Martha! I left her a heck of a tip because she never let my chocolate milk run dry.

With us being so far behind we weren't able to make it Nashville and the Ragin Rookers Live Tournament. Sorry friends that I wasn't able to come show you fools how to play some cards. I was pretty bummed about missing the Nashville part of trip. Rick felt pretty bad and decided to take me to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, TN. That area is AMAZING!! I want to move there right now. I have never seen so many go-carts and bungee jumps in one area besides the beach. We ate at the Dixie Stampede, rode go-carts, saw a magic show, went to the Ripley's Believe It or Not, saw the #1 aquarium, rode a ski lift, went to the top of a space needle, and bought some moonshine. That's right, you can buy and taste real moonshine in Gatlinburg. I bought 3 jars of white lightening.

Overall we had a pretty amazing trip. I would do it again. Hopefully I will if I ever move to Gatlinburg, TN. Throughout the whole trip I couldn't wait to see my new friends from Duelboard but it's ok, I'll still get to hang out with them online.

The big picture of my hike.

This is the actual hike. A few wrong turns but eventually the entire thing.

The crazy bear we saw while hiking. Luckily I'm quick with a camera and caught this beast in his natural habitat.

One of the shelters we stayed at a few nights. Actually the one we got really bad lost at. That fool Rick is in there trying to make "home" of the place.

This is the Harper Family from Gulfport, Mississippi. We talked to them for a while on top of Clingmans Dome. Told them of our trip and they were floored. Hope they can join us one day. Nice meeting you Harpers!One of the many trail signs we saw. Wish there were more at some points on the trip.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Nashville or Bust with Norm

Today I begin my journey to the Duelboard Live Nashville Tourney on August 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Those dates could be off somewhat but that's when I plan on being in town. Yes, I am leaving early but I am doing a little hiking with my good friend Rick before the tourney. We will be hiking 10-11 days on the Appalachian Trail in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. It will be a manly trip like non-other. We will camp, walk, spit, sleep in sleeping bags, drink lots of water, and see beautiful things (hopefully women too!). Wish me luck friends as I begin my long exploration of the eastern United States!

Look forward to a recap when I return in a few weeks. I will have my camera.

A sign from the Trail. I didn't take it, yet.

Hope this foxy lady will be on the trail when we're there.

Nashville, where all my friends will be!

The Journey.

Friday, July 15, 2011

4th of July with Norm

I finally got my camera back from the 4th of July accident. Looking at the pictures it was a lot of fun but the end of the day was more like a blur. Well, my end of the day was around 4:00 in the afternoon but that's not completely my fault. There were some other factors involved in the day ending early. Thanks Pamela for keeping my camera and taking a few pictures after The Event.

The day was awesome! I was with Rick and about 6 other friends. We went out on the beautiful Sebago Lake which is just outside of Portland for you non Mainers. I love that lake. It's huge!! We go out there every 4th and live the dream for a day and. When dark rolls in we watch the fireworks and even shoot off a few of our own from the boat. 4th of July might be my favorite holiday besides Halloween because women wear awesome costumes at The Beaver Pit.

Around noonish we stopped and had lunch at one of the many cliffs that line the like. There were plenty of people swinging from ropes. I pushed Rick off a few times before he had his grip. That fool was so ticked at me! Haha but I got to go next and I usually did canon balls right next to him. Luckily he's not as good a swimmer as I am. By the time 3:00 rolled around we decided to go meet up with another boat that was out having a good time. We were all having a good time thanks to a few alcoholic drinks of choice. I love some Buds! That fool Rick drinks Smirnoff. Haha!

Then the most tragic thing happened. We were cruising across the lake at a top speed. I wanted to move towards the back of the boat where they were cutting up about some jokes. It's what I do, make jokes. Suddenly we hit a huge wake and I stumbled. Tried to catch myself, I think, and went overboard. Hit my head on the way out and don't really remember much. The life jacket probably saved my life because from what I was told, my friends didn't immediately turn around. It took them a little while to notice that I fell out. After who knows how long they pulled me back into the boat and the police came to take me away to the hospital. Another boat in the area radioed the emergency in and helped save my life.

After one night in the hospital it turned out that I only suffered from a severe concussion and cuts and bruises. Thank goodness I have Jerry and his wife to take care of me. They made me come home with them the next day and I camped out at their house for a while to recover.

It was a wild day and one I'll for sure be telling my grand-kids whenever I do have grand-kids.

Thomas and Pam taking a dip while we got Rick ready for the tube.

The rope swing area. It was awesome because there were so many people gathered around and having a good time.

Ron schooling everyone on his two skis. That fool had some skills.

Pamela rode the patrol boat back with and took a picture of one of the punctures on my leg. Thanks Pamela!

Thanks guys for life saving heroics! If you read this you're not forgotten. Thanks Pamela for the great picture!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Blog Commenting with Norm and Floyd

Once again our friend at Kee Creative has moderated our comments on her blog. So that our dedicated readers won't miss anything we will continue to post our comments that are being moderated. Boo comment moderating.

Norm wrote, "Thanks for posting pictures of your home. We'd love to see more."

Floyd wrote, "Once again you need to remove the boulder from your own eye before you remove a speck of dust from another's. How many times do we have to go over this?! You really don't know the details of why these houses look the way they do AND you don't need to judge if something looks tacky based on your own pre-conceived notions (which are most likely also tacky). This house could have easily belonged to a poor old man that died and his family had to sell the home in order to pay for the funeral and they didn't have time to clear it out. Look what you did now, you just made fun of a poor dead old man and his grieving family. Happy? Also, what the heck is wrong with having a bike in your home? What if they lived in a bad neighborhood and didn't want anyone to steal it? INSANE. Strike three, you're OUT!"

Click the link above to be taken directly to the post.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Blog Commenting with Norm and Floyd

It has come to our immediate attention that a fellow blogger has recently turned on comment moderation to her blog. Since adding comment moderation we have noticed that our comments are going unnoticed. This hurts our feelings deeply because we are her only true faithful followers of her blog. As a result of this we have decided to take immediate action so that others may comment freely on her blog, like in the good ole days. Floyd and I have decided to post our unpublished comments here.

The blog is:

Norm's Comment:
What do you mean you "hit up...garage sales...and thrift stores"? Did you steal items from these people? Or did you literally hit these places and people as you were walking in and around the store? I suppose a "point of desperation" calls for extreme measures.

Did you pay the mexican a cheap labor fee to come make authentic fiesta decorations? That's the only way I'd be unworried that "they're looking good".

Floyd's Comment:
Good morning Mrs. Kee. First of all, I have to say that those bedside tables are bland and uninspired. Secondly, you always make fun of other people for being "tacky" in your opinion yet you bought AND displayed the tackiest elephant figurines I've ever seen. You could easily find those in any old ladies room in a nursing home. Good choice.

Also, you do realize there are child labor laws that prohibit using your young son to do all of your yard work in this terrible summer heat while you stand around and take pictures of him like he is some lowly slave hand. Peace out.

We want nothing we do to go unnoticed.

Also, anyone else who's comments are "moderated" feel free to post them here along with the link of the blog post you commented on.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Memorial Day Weekend with Norm

Oh how I love a weekend, but more so a long weekend due to our fine government giving us reasons to celebrate. Not that I need a weekend for a break from work but my friends are off and able to enjoy some freedom with me. This weekend of Memorial we decided to take a road trip on our bikes. Friday we took off to the beautiful state of New Hampshire. Once there we parked our butts in the White Mountain National Forest. What better way to spend my Memorial Day weekend than near the Presidental Range.

Friday afternoon we made it to Crawford Notch State park where we stayed for three amazing nights. It was our home base for the trip. Each day we would go ride our bikes and return to our base camp for food and beverage. It was a great central location for us to refuel and rest. The campground was packed since it was a nice weekend. Our neighbors at the campground were different and were from Indiana. They sat in their tents most of the time we were there. Not very friendly but that girl sure did have a set of legs on her.

Saturday Rick, Johnny, and I took out our road bikes and took off down Highway 16. We got dropped off by some backwoods homie from Conway. He met him at the local gocery and offered to take us to Gorham since he had some business to tend to. We threw our bikes in the back and piled into his single cab. Since there wasn't enough room we made that fool Rick ride in the back. He wasn't happy about it and complained about his hair getting messed up. What a woman! Didn't take us to long to get to Gorham. I ate two Cliff bars and we set off on the road. The ride back to our car was about 25 miles and we covered that in 5 hours. Johnny was so slooow!! Didn't think we'd make it back to camp before dark. That fool stopped to pee about 8 times from what I could tell. No idea what his problem was.

Saturday night we ate a healthy campfire meal. Johnny brought some sausage from a hog he killed down south and we wrapped some bacon around the pieces. Talk about delicious. Rick's girlfriend sent him with some rice crispy treats and brownies and those were pretty much gone our first night. Luckily Rick also brought some Buds. Those kept Johnny sane half the night.

Sunday our plans of riding Highway 302 changed due to traffic and our lack of sleep. That's when we found some killing off road trails at the Cherry Mountain area. I totally showed those guys how to kill it when not on pavement. Rick busted it about 4 times and Johnny was too slow to try anything hard. He walked more than he rode it seemed like. Talk about being a woman rider. We didn't spend all day on our mountain bikes. Instead we headed back to base camp and took a snoozer. Our Indiana neighbors weren't there so I took a few logs of their wood so we'd have some for the night.

Sunday night we drove into Littleton because a good looking girl told Johnny about a pizza joint and bar in the area. That fool will listen to anything that has long hair and shaved legs. In Littleton we found a pizza place but no bar. The food was out of this world. Since there wasn't much going on in Littleton we took off back to base camp. Drank the last of our Buds and sacked out for the night. The Indiana neighbors never noticed the missing firewood! Rick and Johnny shared a tent. Hope those fools didn't have snuggle time. LOL.

Saturday in Conway Rick found this bear to take a picture of.

Johnny and his crappy off road bike. What an idiot.

The neighbors who never left their tent. Odd people from Indiana.

The only pizza place we could find in Littleton. Johnny is an idiot.

Getting tired of that fool Rick always wanting his picture in front of state line signs. Hey Rick, we all know you didn't ride that far.


Check these bad boys out. Double. Decker. Oreos. Best of both worlds. Chocolate AND vanilla. Ebony and Ivory will live together in perfect harmony in my stomach. I was so excited when I first heard this news that I honestly almost threw up.

I haven't tried these yet but I have been looking for them on my bi-weekly trip to the store. No luck yet but stay tuned because once I find these there will immediately be an in-depth review on here. Maybe I'll dunk them in both white and chocolate milks. It will be like the Duality of man.

Some of the articles I've read about these say that they will contribute to the obesity epidemic in America blah blah blah. Well I for one don't listen to communists. What makes America so great is that we are free to stuff our faces with whatever we please. If I die a year or two sooner since I was able to indulge in such great treats as Triple Double Oreos then that's okay because I died a free, happy, American.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Long Road Home with Floyd

Goood Mooooooorning Vietnaaaaaaam! Its good to see you blogger friends! I apologize for being away from you for so long. Its been a very busy week. Since the arrest, my mom has been making me do all kinds of chores and errands for her. Not fun at all! The worst part was being away from my blogger friends and duelboard friends for so long.

Where to begin......lets see....... Well after we were FINALLY released from jail on a Thursday morning, Norm and I had to figure out how to get home. We had our tickets revoked or whatever so the only choices were to take a train or rent a car. Renting a car was obviously the right choice because we figured we could have ourselves some fun on the way home. We picked up a nice little Nissan Sentra and we were on our way.

We didn't last long before our stomach's began to call to us. We decided to go ahead and stop in Wilmington for an early afternoon snack at Casey's Country Buffet. Let me tell you, this place was off the chain. Good barbecue and everything else you can think of. Norm even tried the pig's feet! What an idiot! I wouldn't do it though. After loosening our belts a little and dropping some kids off at the pool we proceeded on our journey. Norm wanted to drive and dang that boy can boogie. He got that little compact car up to 100 on I-95 and I thought the wheels were going to fall off. I fell asleep at that point and when I woke up it was dark and we were in Richmond VA and then I saw one of my favorite sites. Thats right, the glowing red apple of the Applebees sign. We were both still full from our afternoon snack but we couldn't pass this up. Norm had the sizzling bacon chicken cheese platter and I had the ultimate appetizer combo. We ate it all and it was absolutely heavenly and our beautiful waitress Heather never let our margaritas go empty.

We were feeling good by the time we finally left Applebee's but it was starting to get late. I barely managed to drive us to DC in one piece. I kept falling asleep at the wheel. It was hard to decide which motel to stay at but Norm helped me out and we are able to stay at a very nice Holiday Inn Express. After unloading our bags we decided that this party should keep going so we asked the nice concierge where the nicest gentleman's club was. She seemed uncomfortable but googled it anyway and before you know it we were putting our sports coats on and making our way to The Stadium Club.

The Stadium Club way by far the nicest gentlemen's club I've ever been to. I wish Donnie could've been there, he would've loved it. The girls were absolutely beautiful. We sat down, ordered a few drinks and were soon surrounded by so many goddesses that I almost passed out. We were pouring champagne and dancing like there was no tomorrow and...thats the last thing I really remember. The rest was a blur. I must have gotten too caught up in it all. Norm said that we got kicked out shortly after that because I kept trying to kiss and hold a girl named Cassidy (who WAS very hott). He said that the straw that broke the camel's back was when I tried to take a picture of her.

I woke up the next morning with the worst hangover EVER but that crazy Norm had already gone for a morning run. I don't see how he does it. We packed our stuff into the Sentra and continued on our quest. Friday morning we stopped at a hole in the wall diner in Baltimore to eat breakfast. That jerk  Norm double dared me to order scrapple. Not knowing what it is, I did. I thought it was okay until he told me. Its apparently pig in a blender that they put into loaf form and fry. He was laughing so hard that I wanted to knock his block off. After that we went on to Philly and we stopped at Tony Luke's to get Philly Cheesesteaks for lunch and went to see the Liberty Bell because I'd never seen it before. Norm was right, what a let down. Its just a bell with a crack in it. Honestly, I don't know what I was expecting. The cheesesteaks are great but i don't really see what the big deal is with Philly.

Anyways, after that we just drove into NYC and then to my mom's house on Long Island. Since we were so tired, I invited Norm to stay the night which he gladly accepted. That night we had a blast in NYC but I'll save that for another blog post. See below for pictures of our awesome trip!

 Here is the pimp-mobile. Norm seemed embarrassed to be seen in it but I thought it was nice.

 The sign for the delicious Casey's Buffet in Wilmington. I made some crack about Norm's mom having the same "More Parking In Rear" sign. He didn't find it funny. LOL.

 Heather, the best dang Applebee's waitress EVER. This beauty gave Norm and me a free drink! Norm got her number but that son of a gun lost it!

 The jerk of a bouncer wouldn't let us leave the Gentleman's club until we deleted all pictures that we took there off our camera. The angel of a dancer, Cassidy looked a lot like a slightly uglier Catherine Zeta Jones.

 My faithful friend Norm took hold of the opportunity to snap a shot of me after I left the club. Thanks a lot buddy!

I had such a great time on our trip but I was so happy to see this sign to know I was home. I think I made Norm mad when I stopped the car to kiss the ground because he was too grumpy to take a picture of me doing it. ROFL.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Trash Talk with Donnie: 1992 Nissan D21

Here is one of my beloved vehicles – a 1992 Nissan Pickup (formal name is D21) 4x4. It’s got right at 223,000 miles. Almost a quarter of a million and she runs like a top! Anyway, last winter I picked up this little gem for $300, trailered it home, and after a few hundred bucks in parts it was back on the road. Later in the year I had lower ball joints installed and an alignment, bringing the total invested in the truck to $1,300 including the purchase price.

You’ll notice an old camper top on the Nissan that I picked up for $50. A few months later I sold it for $100!

Also you’ll see a set of steel wheels from a late 90s Toyota PreRunner that I picked up for free about an hour away. Some idiot just decided to give these wheels and tires away because he wanted some of those 20” ugly rims with the thin tires. What a moron.

Total Pick: $350
Invested: $1000
Value: $1800 to $2000

Friday, May 6, 2011

Rook Tournament with Norm

Wednesday came quicker than a whistle from a policeman directing traffic at a local elementary school. Before I knew it my flight was leaving Portland and heading to the New York City. In the past I've flown through the Big Apple but never gotten off. That would be foolish for me fly there since it's not that bad of a drive. It was a short flight but I did get Ultra Lite. Cost me $7 but it was a much needed wake up call. Earlier my alarm clock barely woke me up 45 minutes after my original wake up time. Guess the excitement was getting to me.

Made it to the New York City LaGuardia and waited on Floyd so we could catch the next flight to Myrtle Beach. Since the flight times changed and I had a longer lay over he met me earlier so we could plan our major weekend. Luckily they had a bar in the airport so we met at the Jet Rock Bar & Grill. Those guys had every beer on tap! We had a stunning waitress and she never let my drink empty. Think her name was Jessica. Beautiful blonde. She wouldn't let me take her picture though. Anyways, Floyd and I probably had a few too many drinks. It was good to catch up. That fool knows how to drink.

[If anyone knows why the Duelboard is banned at LaGuardia please comment below. I kept getting a banned message whenever I would log on from my laptop. It cost me $15 to use the internet and then LaGuardia customer service wouldn't refund me my money.]

Not sure how we made it to our gate on time but we did. Somehow I even managed to sit in the correct seat on the airplane. Floyd was two rows in front of me. Not sure if it was because he stunk so bad like a drunk or if it was him constantly turning around to yell at me that made everyone so mad. Finally, I went nearer to him and sat on the floor. The plane waitress kept telling me to move but stubborn me sat indian style next to Floyd. If I were to move he probably would have started yelling again. At least that's how I remember it. Next thing I know I'm laying on my stomach with some twist ties around my wrists. Some guy dressed in a ball cap and t-shirt wouldn't take his knee out of my back.

Myrtle Beach holding cell wasn't too trashy. Some guy named Tanner was in for public indecency. Floyd and I were booked for Public Intoxication. Bail on each of us was set at $550.

With our return flight tickets revoked, Floyd and I decided to hit the road for the long drive since he had to be back in New York. Much thanks goes to Longbay Resort for letting us out of our rooms on such short notice. Bruce, if you ever read this. Thanks for your hospitality.

Jet Rock Bar is where Floyd and I tried roughly 1/3 of their beers on tap. They have 48!!
Caught this TSA Officer working hard!
Had to stand up on a chair to get this shot of all the people.

Took this picture on the way out of South Carolina. This is for all my Duelboard buddies I missed.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Trash Talk With Donnie: Knobs

Every one of my washers and dryers have broken or missing knobs. I'm always trying to find replacement knobs so me and the old lady can quit using vice grips to change the settings. Tonight I hit the mother load.

I was driving over to the filling station to pick up some dessert that the old ball and chain was crying about. She can't get enough of those dang Big Texas Cinnamon Rolls so I picked us up 2 each for the night. On the way in my 1968 4 door Chevelle, I spotted a washer, stove, and TV on the side of the road. I would have gotten all three items, but nothing would fit in the trunk. I grabbed the three knobs and went on to the gas station. By the time I got home and got the truck the stuff was gone. Oh well, all the knobs are now being used and it didn't cost a dime!

Picked: $0
Value: $7.50 + shipping

Friday, April 29, 2011

My Mom Crushed My Dreams AGAIN

Good morning world of blogs, I've had a terrible morning so far. As you can tell from my last post, I have been so excited for the royal wedding for at least the past week. After all of that anticipation and excitement, my hopes were crushed. Last night I tried to stay up the entire night to watch the wedding but the last thing I remember is looking at the clock and seeing it was 10:45. But wait! I thought ahead and made some arrangements just in case. Thinking that I might not make it to the wedding, I decided to set my VCR to record it. Well, at around 7:00 this morning I woke up feeling like a kid on Christmas morning. I gleefully ran to the tv, hit rewind, then play. It was a tape I made of the Incredible Hulk in the early 80's. Knowing that I set it to record, I was absolutely livid so I naturally asked my mom if she knew what happened. She said she rolled into the den at around 11:30 to find me asleep and the TV and VCR on so she turned them off! I had already told her at supper that I was recording the wedding!!! What was she thinking? She tries to booby trap everything I do in life.

Anyway, this brings me to another point. What caused this problem (other than dementia) was TIME DIFFERENCE. Why do we even have a time difference? I know it has to do with how the sun revolves around the earth or whatever but what does it really matter? Its always a pain when planning road trips and I'm sure it sucks planning trips overseas to deal with time difference. If they would have had the wedding at 11:00 eastern then I would have been up and ready to watch. Why don't we just have one main time for the entire planet? Just think of all the problems that would solve. I say the next time its 12:00 noon eastern time we just change over the clocks of the world to that time also. I know what you're thinking and no I'm not an idiot. I realize that this would make noon on the other side of the world midnight but they would get used to it over time like everybody would. Everybody that reads this, please call your local city hall, senator, constable or whatever and ask to put this new system in place.

Princess Kate Winslet, if you every read this, know that I just saw pictures of you in your wedding gown and you were absolutely stunning. I deeply regret that I wasn't able to see you walk down the aisle live or even pre-recorded. Whenever I decide to settle down and get married, I will be looking for a wife thats as beautiful as you or maybe even more beautiful. Long Live the Queen!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Poker Night with Norm

Last night me and some of the local guys had our monthly poker night. A lot of people showed up. More than last month, that's for sure. Danny said he knew some younger college boys that loved poker and weren't very good. He invited them over in hopes we could cash in their bad play. Our plan was to take advantage of these boys and swipe all their cash.

The night started out slow. There were only 5 of us playing and then Danny showed up with those college kids he promised. There were about 10 of them. That made us 15 strong on poker players. The buy in was $45 and we played a little Texas Hold'em all night long. Since we weren't expecting such a large crowd we had to use local items as poker chips. A few of my Hershey kisses got eaten in stressful game plays. Hell, if I would have noticed I wouldn't have lost myself $8.

Around 10:30 a few of the college guy's friends that were girls showed up. That's a first for our poker night. My thoughts were "cha-ching", we'll mop floor with these girls who know nothing about poker. Boy was I fooled. They raked in so many chips in their first hour. I couldn't take it anymore because I had already bought in 3 times by 11:00. My funds were running dry so I called it quits.

When 11:30 rolled around the girls left and I bought in again for the 4th time that night. Danny wiped floor with me and I only lasted till 12:15. Overall the poker night was a lot of fun and I can't wait till next month. I'm going to win my $180 back in no time.

Jerry in the front left was getting wiped by that college kid next to him. That dummy knows nothing about poker. HAHA.

This was the second table for the night. The fools that don't know how to play get to play at the small coffee table.

Poker girls. It was so hard to get their picture.

Danny had some nice cards. The fool wiped floor with us.

Big dummy, James, broke his ankle last week trying to rollerblade. That fool will never learn. Also, he lost $80 to one of Danny's college kids.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Those Brits Get to Have ALL the Fun

Many people are so sick of all the coverage that royal wedding is getting lately. Not me, I love it and I'm so jealous of Britain's ability to look forward to, celebrate, and be proud of something of this magnitude. It makes me quite depressed but I still wish Prince William and Kate Winslet the best in their future endeavors. Why don't we have anything like this in the States? We need something as regal and elegant as a royal family. I don't know about the rest of you but democracy has been overrated lately. I think it would be best to start a monarchy of our own. Maybe we should use to see what American family has the most royal blood running through their veins and give them control of the country. I think having an American royal family would do a whole lot of good for our self image and the way the rest of the world views us.

Also, why in the world is the wedding airing at 3:00 in the morning here!? I can't wake up that early if I tried! Come on! Guess I'll have to tape it.

Long Live the Queen!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Duelboard with Norm

Recently my favorite new favorite place in the world, Duelboard Rook, decided it was best that I not show up for a while. They gave me a temporary break from chatting with my new friends and family in the Rook Chatbox. It wasn't a neccesary break on my part but it did do me good. I was able to find myself and do things I haven't had time for since Duelboard was occupying my daily free time. My buddy Rick and I went camping in Vermont. I also was able to trim some limbs in the yard, paint some columns on the porch, take the bags of plastic bottles to the recycling center, and clean out the dog pen. These were benificial things to me that I have been meaning to get to.

It is a very rewarding feeling to know that I am finally allowed back into the Duelboard Rook game. I can catch up with my friends and discover new things going on in their lives. Not all are so welcoming but I know deep down they really did miss me. I missed them and their funny sayings.

I love you Duelboard!!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Travel with Norm

Got my ticket to Paradise today!

Flying to Myrtle Beach for the annual Duelboard Rook Tournament on May 5th - 8th. This should be a real gas. Looking forward to seeing some of my new friends I've met on the Rook chatroom. Floyd and I are going to rock that place.

My flight begins in Portland, my home. I then fly to New York where Floyd and I will catch a connecting flight to South Carolina, the home of Paradise.

Not sure what kind of car we'll be renting but I was thinking along the lines of a convertable Sebring. I'd look hot in that fine automobile.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

To Amsterdam!

Well I've had enough. Enough of my mom trying to boss me around and enough of being lonely and looking for love in all the wrong places. I've decided to unload my mom on my sister and put my savings to good use and take a trip to Europe. My first stop will be Amsterdam. I've heard it has some of the greatest sights to behold on the continent like the famous canals, the Van Gogh museum, and the Anne Franke house. If I have any extra time I may go visit London and Paris but I doubt it. I've been wanting to take a trip to the Netherlands for the past twenty years and now I'm finally going to do it. Don't worry, I plan to bring my laptop along to document the journey. Still haven't decided on an exact date yet but stay tuned!

Also, if any of our loyal readers know of any cool things to do while I'm there please comment!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

HUZZAH! Nacho Cheese Dorito TACO from Taco Bell!

Well today is a good day. Taco Bell has just announced a taco that uses a big nacho cheese Dorito as its shell. My brain can't fathom the bomb this taco is going to drop on my taste buds. Its like when chocolate met peanut butter. Whenever I get a chance to try these I will get on here and post my review. Maybe next they'll do other flavors of Doritos like Cool Ranch or Spicy Nacho. This is how this news made me feel:

Monday, April 18, 2011

Camping with Norm

This past weekend I went on a camping trip with a buddy to Vermont. The trip was to camp at the Moosalamoo campground which is due south of Burlington. It seemed like it took us forever to get there from Portland. We passed so many other places that would have been great to camp along the way. My buddy Rick said we had to go there since it's not very crowded but mainly since he had never been there.

We got there on Wednesday afternoon and set up our camp. The plan was to do a little hiking and biking for our few days. We brought 4 bikes in case we ran into a few people who wanted to bike with us. Always be prepared when venturing away from home. You never know what or who you'll run into.

Thursday we rode our bikes for good, brisk 15 mile ride. Riding the hills reminds me that I need to workout more. I was beat after riding so long. We decided to just hang out at the campsite and drink a little bit. That night was a full moon so we took a short hike to a clearing nearby to check it out and see if any other people were looking at the moon. Unfortunatly no one else was up there looking at the moon. We went back to the camp and settled in for the night. We both slept so hard that we missed the bear attack to our campsite. Friday morning when we woke up our site was trashed from a bear. The ranger said they hadn't seen a bear there in months but I know it was a bear. I took a few pictures to show that it was a bear.

Friday evening a few people joined the campground. Nothing spectacular like we were hoping for but it was good to have company. They were an older couple and kind of nerdy but they were company.

Saturday we found this lake but the water was way to cold to swim in. A few families were fishing in a canoe but other than that the lake was pretty quiet. We didn't have any fishing poles so we skipped rocks for fun. My longest skip was 6 skips and Rick got his to go 11 skips one time. Then we found some large boulder type rocks that we pushed down the hill into the lake. Those made the biggest splashes. After a while we came across an old rope swing. I dared Rick to take the plunge. He wouldn't at first but somehow we came to the bet of him doing it naked. That fool did it. Said it was cold as ever and would never do it again. Our night ended with us sitting around drinking with Jane and Marty, the nerdy old couple at the campground.

Sunday we drove back to Portland. Here are some of the pictures I took.

Rick wanted his picture with the Vermont sign. That fool put his helmet on to make it look like he rode his bike.

Rick's tent and stupid bike.

My tent area after the bear attack.

The fire area after the bear attack.

Marty and Jane

That fool Rick swinging into the cold lake.