Thursday, March 28, 2013

Last Year With Norm


Going to give an update on what happened while I was gone. Hopefully I can continue to write now that I'm settled down again.

 While I have been gone:
-I didn't get a job.
-Learned how to ride a dirt bike.
-Homos have gotten their panties in a wad about getting married.
-Bought 132 scratch offs and won a total of $762.
-Went on 4 blind dates. Currently, dating no one. I'm SINGLE, hot ladies!
-Slapped a Wal-Mart greeter on the butt.
-Obama took office. I miss Ron Paul.
-Floyd got zero action.
-Dropped my cell phone in a toilet.
-Visited Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
 -Purchased a rottweiler. Took him back after 2 months. Didn't get my money back.
-Got 5 tickets in one police stop. For Riding a dirt bike on a road, not having a valid drivers license, speeding, not wearing a helmet, and public indecency (flipped off a school bus full of kids).
-Crapped in the woods and wiped with leaves.
-Shot an elk. -Toured 3 beer factories.
-Lost $600 on the Super Bowl.
-Ran a 5k in a personal best, 47:13.
-Went skinny dipping at a local state park with Rick.
-Deep sea fished with Rick. That fool is scared of live bait, HAHA.
-Took a walk on the wild side.
-Ate sushi.
-Did not protest Chick-fil-a.
-Grew and still have a mustache.
-Shook Jani Lane's hand. Lead singer for Warrant (for the fools that didn't know).
-Bought a Bluray player.

That's all I can think of for now, suckers. Check back later for more updates as I remember them.