Nashville or Bust with Norm

Today I begin my journey to the Duelboard Live Nashville Tourney on August 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Those dates could be off somewhat but that's when I plan on being in town. Yes, I am leaving early but I am doing a little hiking with my good friend Rick before the tourney. We will be hiking 10-11 days on the Appalachian Trail in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. It will be a manly trip like non-other. We will camp, walk, spit, sleep in sleeping bags, drink lots of water, and see beautiful things (hopefully women too!). Wish me luck friends as I begin my long exploration of the eastern United States!

Look forward to a recap when I return in a few weeks. I will have my camera.

A sign from the Trail. I didn't take it, yet.

Hope this foxy lady will be on the trail when we're there.

Nashville, where all my friends will be!

The Journey.

4th of July with Norm

I finally got my camera back from the 4th of July accident. Looking at the pictures it was a lot of fun but the end of the day was more like a blur. Well, my end of the day was around 4:00 in the afternoon but that's not completely my fault. There were some other factors involved in the day ending early. Thanks Pamela for keeping my camera and taking a few pictures after The Event.

The day was awesome! I was with Rick and about 6 other friends. We went out on the beautiful Sebago Lake which is just outside of Portland for you non Mainers. I love that lake. It's huge!! We go out there every 4th and live the dream for a day and. When dark rolls in we watch the fireworks and even shoot off a few of our own from the boat. 4th of July might be my favorite holiday besides Halloween because women wear awesome costumes at The Beaver Pit.

Around noonish we stopped and had lunch at one of the many cliffs that line the like. There were plenty of people swinging from ropes. I pushed Rick off a few times before he had his grip. That fool was so ticked at me! Haha but I got to go next and I usually did canon balls right next to him. Luckily he's not as good a swimmer as I am. By the time 3:00 rolled around we decided to go meet up with another boat that was out having a good time. We were all having a good time thanks to a few alcoholic drinks of choice. I love some Buds! That fool Rick drinks Smirnoff. Haha!

Then the most tragic thing happened. We were cruising across the lake at a top speed. I wanted to move towards the back of the boat where they were cutting up about some jokes. It's what I do, make jokes. Suddenly we hit a huge wake and I stumbled. Tried to catch myself, I think, and went overboard. Hit my head on the way out and don't really remember much. The life jacket probably saved my life because from what I was told, my friends didn't immediately turn around. It took them a little while to notice that I fell out. After who knows how long they pulled me back into the boat and the police came to take me away to the hospital. Another boat in the area radioed the emergency in and helped save my life.

After one night in the hospital it turned out that I only suffered from a severe concussion and cuts and bruises. Thank goodness I have Jerry and his wife to take care of me. They made me come home with them the next day and I camped out at their house for a while to recover.

It was a wild day and one I'll for sure be telling my grand-kids whenever I do have grand-kids.

Thomas and Pam taking a dip while we got Rick ready for the tube.

The rope swing area. It was awesome because there were so many people gathered around and having a good time.

Ron schooling everyone on his two skis. That fool had some skills.

Pamela rode the patrol boat back with and took a picture of one of the punctures on my leg. Thanks Pamela!

Thanks guys for life saving heroics! If you read this you're not forgotten. Thanks Pamela for the great picture!

Blog Commenting with Norm and Floyd

Once again our friend at Kee Creative has moderated our comments on her blog. So that our dedicated readers won't miss anything we will continue to post our comments that are being moderated. Boo comment moderating.

Norm wrote, "Thanks for posting pictures of your home. We'd love to see more."

Floyd wrote, "Once again you need to remove the boulder from your own eye before you remove a speck of dust from another's. How many times do we have to go over this?! You really don't know the details of why these houses look the way they do AND you don't need to judge if something looks tacky based on your own pre-conceived notions (which are most likely also tacky). This house could have easily belonged to a poor old man that died and his family had to sell the home in order to pay for the funeral and they didn't have time to clear it out. Look what you did now, you just made fun of a poor dead old man and his grieving family. Happy? Also, what the heck is wrong with having a bike in your home? What if they lived in a bad neighborhood and didn't want anyone to steal it? INSANE. Strike three, you're OUT!"

Click the link above to be taken directly to the post.

Blog Commenting with Norm and Floyd

It has come to our immediate attention that a fellow blogger has recently turned on comment moderation to her blog. Since adding comment moderation we have noticed that our comments are going unnoticed. This hurts our feelings deeply because we are her only true faithful followers of her blog. As a result of this we have decided to take immediate action so that others may comment freely on her blog, like in the good ole days. Floyd and I have decided to post our unpublished comments here.

The blog is: http://keecreative.blogspot.com/2011/06/weekend-update-yard-work-garage-sales.html#comment-form

Norm's Comment:
What do you mean you "hit up...garage sales...and thrift stores"? Did you steal items from these people? Or did you literally hit these places and people as you were walking in and around the store? I suppose a "point of desperation" calls for extreme measures.

Did you pay the mexican a cheap labor fee to come make authentic fiesta decorations? That's the only way I'd be unworried that "they're looking good".

Floyd's Comment:
Good morning Mrs. Kee. First of all, I have to say that those bedside tables are bland and uninspired. Secondly, you always make fun of other people for being "tacky" in your opinion yet you bought AND displayed the tackiest elephant figurines I've ever seen. You could easily find those in any old ladies room in a nursing home. Good choice.

Also, you do realize there are child labor laws that prohibit using your young son to do all of your yard work in this terrible summer heat while you stand around and take pictures of him like he is some lowly slave hand. Peace out.


We want nothing we do to go unnoticed.

Also, anyone else who's comments are "moderated" feel free to post them here along with the link of the blog post you commented on.

Memorial Day Weekend with Norm

Oh how I love a weekend, but more so a long weekend due to our fine government giving us reasons to celebrate. Not that I need a weekend for a break from work but my friends are off and able to enjoy some freedom with me. This weekend of Memorial we decided to take a road trip on our bikes. Friday we took off to the beautiful state of New Hampshire. Once there we parked our butts in the White Mountain National Forest. What better way to spend my Memorial Day weekend than near the Presidental Range.

Friday afternoon we made it to Crawford Notch State park where we stayed for three amazing nights. It was our home base for the trip. Each day we would go ride our bikes and return to our base camp for food and beverage. It was a great central location for us to refuel and rest. The campground was packed since it was a nice weekend. Our neighbors at the campground were different and were from Indiana. They sat in their tents most of the time we were there. Not very friendly but that girl sure did have a set of legs on her.

Saturday Rick, Johnny, and I took out our road bikes and took off down Highway 16. We got dropped off by some backwoods homie from Conway. He met him at the local gocery and offered to take us to Gorham since he had some business to tend to. We threw our bikes in the back and piled into his single cab. Since there wasn't enough room we made that fool Rick ride in the back. He wasn't happy about it and complained about his hair getting messed up. What a woman! Didn't take us to long to get to Gorham. I ate two Cliff bars and we set off on the road. The ride back to our car was about 25 miles and we covered that in 5 hours. Johnny was so slooow!! Didn't think we'd make it back to camp before dark. That fool stopped to pee about 8 times from what I could tell. No idea what his problem was.

Saturday night we ate a healthy campfire meal. Johnny brought some sausage from a hog he killed down south and we wrapped some bacon around the pieces. Talk about delicious. Rick's girlfriend sent him with some rice crispy treats and brownies and those were pretty much gone our first night. Luckily Rick also brought some Buds. Those kept Johnny sane half the night.

Sunday our plans of riding Highway 302 changed due to traffic and our lack of sleep. That's when we found some killing off road trails at the Cherry Mountain area. I totally showed those guys how to kill it when not on pavement. Rick busted it about 4 times and Johnny was too slow to try anything hard. He walked more than he rode it seemed like. Talk about being a woman rider. We didn't spend all day on our mountain bikes. Instead we headed back to base camp and took a snoozer. Our Indiana neighbors weren't there so I took a few logs of their wood so we'd have some for the night.

Sunday night we drove into Littleton because a good looking girl told Johnny about a pizza joint and bar in the area. That fool will listen to anything that has long hair and shaved legs. In Littleton we found a pizza place but no bar. The food was out of this world. Since there wasn't much going on in Littleton we took off back to base camp. Drank the last of our Buds and sacked out for the night. The Indiana neighbors never noticed the missing firewood! Rick and Johnny shared a tent. Hope those fools didn't have snuggle time. LOL.

Saturday in Conway Rick found this bear to take a picture of.

Johnny and his crappy off road bike. What an idiot.

The neighbors who never left their tent. Odd people from Indiana.

The only pizza place we could find in Littleton. Johnny is an idiot.

Getting tired of that fool Rick always wanting his picture in front of state line signs. Hey Rick, we all know you didn't ride that far.

TRIPLE DOUBLE OREOS?!

Check these bad boys out. Double. Decker. Oreos. Best of both worlds. Chocolate AND vanilla. Ebony and Ivory will live together in perfect harmony in my stomach. I was so excited when I first heard this news that I honestly almost threw up.

I haven't tried these yet but I have been looking for them on my bi-weekly trip to the store. No luck yet but stay tuned because once I find these there will immediately be an in-depth review on here. Maybe I'll dunk them in both white and chocolate milks. It will be like the Duality of man.

Some of the articles I've read about these say that they will contribute to the obesity epidemic in America blah blah blah. Well I for one don't listen to communists. What makes America so great is that we are free to stuff our faces with whatever we please. If I die a year or two sooner since I was able to indulge in such great treats as Triple Double Oreos then that's okay because I died a free, happy, American.

The Long Road Home with Floyd

Goood Mooooooorning Vietnaaaaaaam! Its good to see you blogger friends! I apologize for being away from you for so long. Its been a very busy week. Since the arrest, my mom has been making me do all kinds of chores and errands for her. Not fun at all! The worst part was being away from my blogger friends and duelboard friends for so long.

Where to begin......lets see....... Well after we were FINALLY released from jail on a Thursday morning, Norm and I had to figure out how to get home. We had our tickets revoked or whatever so the only choices were to take a train or rent a car. Renting a car was obviously the right choice because we figured we could have ourselves some fun on the way home. We picked up a nice little Nissan Sentra and we were on our way.

We didn't last long before our stomach's began to call to us. We decided to go ahead and stop in Wilmington for an early afternoon snack at Casey's Country Buffet. Let me tell you, this place was off the chain. Good barbecue and everything else you can think of. Norm even tried the pig's feet! What an idiot! I wouldn't do it though. After loosening our belts a little and dropping some kids off at the pool we proceeded on our journey. Norm wanted to drive and dang that boy can boogie. He got that little compact car up to 100 on I-95 and I thought the wheels were going to fall off. I fell asleep at that point and when I woke up it was dark and we were in Richmond VA and then I saw one of my favorite sites. Thats right, the glowing red apple of the Applebees sign. We were both still full from our afternoon snack but we couldn't pass this up. Norm had the sizzling bacon chicken cheese platter and I had the ultimate appetizer combo. We ate it all and it was absolutely heavenly and our beautiful waitress Heather never let our margaritas go empty.

We were feeling good by the time we finally left Applebee's but it was starting to get late. I barely managed to drive us to DC in one piece. I kept falling asleep at the wheel. It was hard to decide which motel to stay at but Norm helped me out and we are able to stay at a very nice Holiday Inn Express. After unloading our bags we decided that this party should keep going so we asked the nice concierge where the nicest gentleman's club was. She seemed uncomfortable but googled it anyway and before you know it we were putting our sports coats on and making our way to The Stadium Club.

The Stadium Club way by far the nicest gentlemen's club I've ever been to. I wish Donnie could've been there, he would've loved it. The girls were absolutely beautiful. We sat down, ordered a few drinks and were soon surrounded by so many goddesses that I almost passed out. We were pouring champagne and dancing like there was no tomorrow and...thats the last thing I really remember. The rest was a blur. I must have gotten too caught up in it all. Norm said that we got kicked out shortly after that because I kept trying to kiss and hold a girl named Cassidy (who WAS very hott). He said that the straw that broke the camel's back was when I tried to take a picture of her.

I woke up the next morning with the worst hangover EVER but that crazy Norm had already gone for a morning run. I don't see how he does it. We packed our stuff into the Sentra and continued on our quest. Friday morning we stopped at a hole in the wall diner in Baltimore to eat breakfast. That jerk  Norm double dared me to order scrapple. Not knowing what it is, I did. I thought it was okay until he told me. Its apparently pig in a blender that they put into loaf form and fry. He was laughing so hard that I wanted to knock his block off. After that we went on to Philly and we stopped at Tony Luke's to get Philly Cheesesteaks for lunch and went to see the Liberty Bell because I'd never seen it before. Norm was right, what a let down. Its just a bell with a crack in it. Honestly, I don't know what I was expecting. The cheesesteaks are great but i don't really see what the big deal is with Philly.

Anyways, after that we just drove into NYC and then to my mom's house on Long Island. Since we were so tired, I invited Norm to stay the night which he gladly accepted. That night we had a blast in NYC but I'll save that for another blog post. See below for pictures of our awesome trip!

 Here is the pimp-mobile. Norm seemed embarrassed to be seen in it but I thought it was nice.

 The sign for the delicious Casey's Buffet in Wilmington. I made some crack about Norm's mom having the same "More Parking In Rear" sign. He didn't find it funny. LOL.

 Heather, the best dang Applebee's waitress EVER. This beauty gave Norm and me a free drink! Norm got her number but that son of a gun lost it!

 The jerk of a bouncer wouldn't let us leave the Gentleman's club until we deleted all pictures that we took there off our camera. The angel of a dancer, Cassidy looked a lot like a slightly uglier Catherine Zeta Jones.

 My faithful friend Norm took hold of the opportunity to snap a shot of me after I left the club. Thanks a lot buddy!

I had such a great time on our trip but I was so happy to see this sign to know I was home. I think I made Norm mad when I stopped the car to kiss the ground because he was too grumpy to take a picture of me doing it. ROFL.

Trash Talk with Donnie: 1992 Nissan D21

Here is one of my beloved vehicles – a 1992 Nissan Pickup (formal name is D21) 4x4. It’s got right at 223,000 miles. Almost a quarter of a million and she runs like a top! Anyway, last winter I picked up this little gem for $300, trailered it home, and after a few hundred bucks in parts it was back on the road. Later in the year I had lower ball joints installed and an alignment, bringing the total invested in the truck to $1,300 including the purchase price.

You’ll notice an old camper top on the Nissan that I picked up for $50. A few months later I sold it for $100!

Also you’ll see a set of steel wheels from a late 90s Toyota PreRunner that I picked up for free about an hour away. Some idiot just decided to give these wheels and tires away because he wanted some of those 20” ugly rims with the thin tires. What a moron.

Total Pick: $350
Invested: $1000
Value: $1800 to $2000

Rook Tournament with Norm

Wednesday came quicker than a whistle from a policeman directing traffic at a local elementary school. Before I knew it my flight was leaving Portland and heading to the New York City. In the past I've flown through the Big Apple but never gotten off. That would be foolish for me fly there since it's not that bad of a drive. It was a short flight but I did get Ultra Lite. Cost me $7 but it was a much needed wake up call. Earlier my alarm clock barely woke me up 45 minutes after my original wake up time. Guess the excitement was getting to me.

Made it to the New York City LaGuardia and waited on Floyd so we could catch the next flight to Myrtle Beach. Since the flight times changed and I had a longer lay over he met me earlier so we could plan our major weekend. Luckily they had a bar in the airport so we met at the Jet Rock Bar & Grill. Those guys had every beer on tap! We had a stunning waitress and she never let my drink empty. Think her name was Jessica. Beautiful blonde. She wouldn't let me take her picture though. Anyways, Floyd and I probably had a few too many drinks. It was good to catch up. That fool knows how to drink.

[If anyone knows why the Duelboard is banned at LaGuardia please comment below. I kept getting a banned message whenever I would log on from my laptop. It cost me $15 to use the internet and then LaGuardia customer service wouldn't refund me my money.]

Not sure how we made it to our gate on time but we did. Somehow I even managed to sit in the correct seat on the airplane. Floyd was two rows in front of me. Not sure if it was because he stunk so bad like a drunk or if it was him constantly turning around to yell at me that made everyone so mad. Finally, I went nearer to him and sat on the floor. The plane waitress kept telling me to move but stubborn me sat indian style next to Floyd. If I were to move he probably would have started yelling again. At least that's how I remember it. Next thing I know I'm laying on my stomach with some twist ties around my wrists. Some guy dressed in a ball cap and t-shirt wouldn't take his knee out of my back.

Myrtle Beach holding cell wasn't too trashy. Some guy named Tanner was in for public indecency. Floyd and I were booked for Public Intoxication. Bail on each of us was set at $550.

With our return flight tickets revoked, Floyd and I decided to hit the road for the long drive since he had to be back in New York. Much thanks goes to Longbay Resort for letting us out of our rooms on such short notice. Bruce, if you ever read this. Thanks for your hospitality.

Jet Rock Bar is where Floyd and I tried roughly 1/3 of their beers on tap. They have 48!!

Caught this TSA Officer working hard!

Had to stand up on a chair to get this shot of all the people.

Took this picture on the way out of South Carolina. This is for all my Duelboard buddies I missed.